Jaune's Lament
by BranwenOSV
Summary: (Volume 3 finale spoilers!) After that day, Jaune isolated himself in his room, blaming himself for what occurred. Friends and allies come to visit him in the hopes of getting him back on his feet, but he appears to have already made up his mind: He cannot be a huntsman anymore.


**A/N: So after that Volume 3 finale, I had to write this to get it out of my system.**

 **This story will of course have serious feels; tissues may be necessary.**

 **Some headcanons apply.**

* * *

Everything was happening so fast, and Jaune couldn't comprehend any of it. He didn't know what was in that vault underneath the school, or what Ozpin and Pyrrha were trying to do, or who was that woman that was murdered by Cinder, or why Pyrrha decided despite any logic or sense to stay behind to fight a monster far too powerful for them to handle.

After landing in the middle of the city, he was quickly found by Professor Goodwitch and was escorted to the evacuation point where his other teammates were waiting. He barely had time to explain to them what was going on - if he was even capable of doing that - before there was a bright white flash on top of the tower. Whatever caused that massive light in the sky, it was enough to keep the Grimm still long enough for the city to be fully evacuated.

The ship carrying the rest of Team JNPR waited until Weiss had arrived with Qrow, who was carrying an unconscious Ruby in her arms.

"We need to take off now!" commanded Qrow. The ship started to close up and lift off, even though there was still one team member missing.

"Wait a minute!" said Jaune. "Where's Pyrrha? Didn't you go to the tower? Where is she?"

Just the mere mention of her name was enough for Weiss to suddenly run to the corner of the ship and ball up on the floor. "Weiss, didn't you get my call? You went to the tower to save her, right?"

"Jaune...Pyrrha's..." Weiss could barely form a sentence before bursting into tears. That kind of reaction could only have meant the worst. Jaune could feel his stomach tie up into knots.

"No...she can't be!" yelled Jaune. "Pyrrha can't be..."

Without a second thought, Jaune tried to run to the end of the ship to jump out, but was immediately cut off by Qrow.

"What are you doing?" yelled Qrow.

"I have to go back for Pyrrha! I need to save her! She can't be dead!"

"She's gone, kid! Now sit down before-"

"NO! Pyrrha is still out there somewhere! There's no way she can be dead! LET ME OUT!"

With Jaune refusing to calm down and putting everyone in danger, Qrow had no choice but to knock Jaune out with a strong blow to the head. The ship finally left the academy and headed to the evacuation point. Qrow laid the unconscious Jaune on a bench, sitting next to him while holding on to Ruby; Weiss remained in her corner and had cried all the way through; upon realizing Pyrrha was gone, Nora turned to Ren and cried on his shoulder.

The ship only took about twenty minutes to get to the evacuation point, but for everyone on board, it was the longest twenty minutes of their life.

#

Ren and Nora were in a cab riding through the upper-class neighborhood of the Vale kingdom. The neighborhood looked like your typical suburban gated community, but it might as well be paradise compared to the ruinous state the main city was in after Cinder's attack. Ren took out his scroll and called Ruby; while communication to outside kingdoms was not possible at the moment, the emergency towers in other parts of Vale and Patch Island still made internal communication possible.

"How are you holding up Ruby?" asked Ren.

"All things considered, I'm okay," said Ruby. "There's nothing I want more than to just get out of this bed and go after the people responsible for all this."

"You're not the only one. Have you been able to contact Weiss or Blake?"

"Unfortunately, no. Weiss was taken to Atlas, and Blake might as well have dropped off the face of Remnant. How are things on your end?"

"Nora and I are doing fine; we only needed a day's rest from our injuries. As for Jaune, we're heading to his home right now."

"Has he talked ever since...?"

"No; that's why we're going to see him in person."

"Call me back as soon as you can, okay?"

"I will. Get well Ruby."

Ren and Nora arrived at the Arc residence. Ren had tried to contact Jaune personally but could never reach him, so he had contacted Jaune's home and talked to his mother. She explained that Jaune was home but refused to talk, so Ren and Nora decided to visit him in person. Ren rang the doorbell, which was quickly answered by Jaune's mom.

"Hello Mrs. Arc," greeted Ren. "We're Jaune's teammates."

"Come on in and make yourselves at home," said Mrs. Arc. "I'm making my boy some hot chocolate; would you like some?"

"Yes Mrs. Arc!" said Nora.

"I'll have tea, thank you," said Ren.

Mrs. Arc went into the kitchen to prepare the drinks while Ren and Nora waited in the dining room. Ren and Nora looked around the house, which looked like what they expected out of a upper-class home for a family of ten. It felt somewhat jarring being in a house this luxurious compared to their simple abode they grew up in.

"I finally feel like a queen in a castle," said Nora. "Maybe once we retire, we can live in a place like this, Ren."

"Just don't start asking for eight kids," replied Ren. Mrs. Arc finished the drinks and carried them in a serving tray.

"Jaune's room is just upstairs," said Mrs. Arc.

"Mrs. Arc, has Jaune said anything about what happened?" asked Ren.

"Aside from what happened to that poor girl, I'm afraid not. Jaune hasn't come out of his room ever since the attack. He'll let me come in to change his clothes and serve him food, but other than that, he refuses to talk about anything else. My sweet little boy has already suffered too much; it breaks my heart to see him like this." Mrs. Arc took the tray and lead them to Jaune's room. She knocked softly on the door.

"Jaune baby? It's mom; your friends are here to see you."

"Tell them to go home!" replied Jaune.

"Jaune honey, I know you're still very upset, but I think it would be good to talk to your friends."

"...fine, they can come in."

Jaune's mom opened the door and walked in with Jaune's friends. Jaune was in his pajamas and wrapped in his blankets, playing video games on his TV. Ren noticed the garbage pail being loaded with tissues, and at least two empty boxes lying around the room. Jaune paused the game as his mom put down the serving tray with everyone's drinks on the floor, then left the room so the three of them can be alone. Nora took her drink and started gulping it down; Ren took his drink and drank slowly. Jaune simply wrapped his hands around the hot mug and stared into his drink.

"So let me guess," said Jaune. "You want to talk about the fall of Beacon."

"We came to check on you," said Nora. "You haven't contacted anybody and we got worried. As fellow members of Team JNPR we-"

"THERE IS NO TEAM JNPR!" yelled Jaune, causing Nora to nearly jump back. Hearing his sudden scream caused his mom to knock on the door.

"Is everything okay Jaune?" asked his mother.

"We're fine, mom!" Jaune replied angrily.

"Okay dear," said his mom before leaving.

"Jaune, I...we..." Hearing Jaune's outburst already caused Nora to be upset. Being the more level-headed of the pair, Ren decided to do the talking.

"Jaune, we may have lost Pyrrha, but we're still a team and you're still our leader," said Ren.

"No we're not!" Jaune gritted through his teeth. "There is no Team JNPR! We aren't a team and I'm not your leader!"

"Okay then, we're no longer Team JNPR, but we're still huntsmen."

"You two can continue being huntsmen, but I'm done. Jaune Dande Leon Arc is retiring from that nonsense."

"You can't give up being a huntsman now!" said Nora. "There's still a world out there that needs saving!"

"What's the point? Beacon is gone, Vale is getting more overrun by the day, that Cinder witch is too powerful for anyone to stop, and Pyrrha is..." Jaune covered his eyes with his hands to stop himself from crying, but it did little good as his hands started to get soaked. "She's gone...she's gone and it's all my fault! I let Pyrrha die!"

Jaune tried to reach around behind him to find his latest tissue box while still holding one hand to his eyes. Being nowhere close to the box, Nora got up and brought the tissues to him. Jaune immediately took one and tried to wipe the tears coming out of his eyes.

"Jaune," said Nora, "I'm not sure if you ever picked up the hints, but Pyrrha...she loved you. Like, really in love with you. I'm sure whatever happened, Pyrrha wouldn't have blamed you for it. She'd-"

"She kissed me," interrupted Jaune. Ren and Nora were surprised by this sudden revelation.

"She what?" asked Nora.

"We got out of the tower, we had our chance to run away, and she wanted to go back. I told her we needed to go, and that's when...but then without another word, she shoves me into a locker, sends me flying, and I...if I was a better leader, I would have been able to save us! I could have prevented her from having to go back and..."

Jaune grabbed a pillow from his bed and screamed into it as loud as he could.

"How can we possibly be a team when I'm such a miserable failure of a huntsman?" said Jaune, muffling loudly into his pillow. "I was never cut out for this! I was just some stupid kid trying to play hero, and I got Pyrrha killed for it!"

"Jaune, this isn't your fault!" said Nora, pulling Jaune into a hug as she started crying as well. "You did the best you could! There was nothing more you could have done!"

"Stop it!" said Jaune, trying to break free from Nora's iron grip. "Stop trying to cheer me up with such obvious lies!"

"We're not trying to lie, Jaune," said Ren. "We may not have been there, but we still believe you did everything you could. You have to stop blaming yourself for Pyrrha's death."

"But I AM the reason Pyrrha is dead! I screwed everything up! That's all I ever do!"

Jaune continued sobbing as Nora held on to him. Ren could tell that this conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"Ren...Nora...you deserve a better leader than me. Do me a favor and don't come back."

Ren finished the rest of his tea and stood up. "Let's go Nora."

"But Ren!" protested Nora. "Jaune is still-"

"I know, but we need to go."

As much as it pained her to do it, Nora was never to doubt Ren's better judgment. She let go of Jaune and stood up, leaving the room with Ren as Jaune crawled back into bed, buried himself under all his blankets, and kept crying.

"Thank you for the hospitality, Mrs. Arc," said Ren. "Sorry we weren't able to help."

"Thank you so much for coming," said Mrs. Arc. "I'm sure my boy just needs more time to cope. Come back anytime."

Once Ren and Nora left the house, Ren took out his scroll to call Ruby.

"Are we...are we really going to leave Jaune forever?" asked Nora.

"There isn't anything more we can do," said Ren. "Jaune needs to work this out on his own."

Nora grabbed Ren from the side and placed her head on his shoulder. "I just want us to get back together again!"

"So do I Nora," said Ren, wrapping one arm around Nora's waist.

#

Ruby was resting in her bed, reading one of her old weapons magazines to pass the time, when she got a call from Ren.

"Did you talk to Jaune?" asked Ruby. "How did it go?"

"Jaune has quit," said Ren.

"What do you mean he quit?"

"Jaune's given up. He's not going to be a huntsman anymore."

"What happened? What did you say to him?"

"We tried to comfort him about Pyrrha, but it didn't take. He still blames himself for what happened."

"Do you have his number? I'll try talking to him!"

"Sorry Ruby, but I don't think it's going to help."

"...okay. Thanks for trying guys."

Ruby hung up and sighed. With her own team disbanded, Team JNPR disbanded, and no way of contacting any of her fellow Beacon alumni, she was starting to lose hope that there was anything she can do.

Outside of Ruby's room, a nosy old Qrow just happened to overhear the conversation his niece was having.

#

With Jaune's father at work and the girls at school, it was another day of just Jaune and his mom in the house. Jaune continued to read comic books, play games, anything to keep himself occupied and away from the outside world, while Jaune's mother was in the kitchen preparing a special breakfast for her special boy. Just as she began to mix the chocolate chips into the pancake batter, the doorbell rang.

"Now who can that be?" thought Mrs. Arc. She turned off the stove and answered the door. On her doorstep was a man who smelled faintly of booze and had a grotesque stubble on his face.

"Can I help you, sir?" asked Mrs. Arc.

"Hello ma'am," greeted Qrow. "Is there where Jaune Arc lives?"

"Who are you? Are you one of his professors from the academy?"

"I am a professor, yes. I'm a friend of a friend of his and I'm here to do his friends a favor. May I come in?"

"I suppose," said Mrs. Arc, not entirely comfortable allowing this strange man into her home. "May I have your name please?"

"You can call me Qrow."

"All right...Qrow, would you like some coffee or tea?"

"No thanks; don't like the stuff."

Mrs. Arc escorted Qrow up the stairs to the outside of Jaune's room.

"Jaune, are you busy right now?" asked Mrs. Arc.

"Not really," said Jaune. "What do you need?"

"There's a man out here to see you. He says he-"

Before Jaune's mom can even explain, Qrow simply grabbed the door and allowed himself into Jaune's room. Jaune looked up from the comic book he was reading and was surprised to see it was the man he met on the ship.

"Sweet pad kid," said Qrow. "Wish I had it this good."

"It's you!" said Jaune. "You were the one carrying Ruby on the ship! Who are you?"

"Qrow Branwen; huntsman, professor, and I guess today, motivational speaker."

"Jaune honey," said Mrs. Arc, "if this man is making you feel uncomfortable, I'll kick him out right away."

"No mom, it's okay," replied Jaune. "I kind of know him."

"Well don't hesitate to call for me, okay sweetie?"

As soon as she was done, Qrow closed the door and grabbed a spare seat in the room. Jaune sat up on his bed to face him.

"So just who are you anyway?" asked Jaune.

"I'm Ruby and Yang's uncle," said Qrow. "I've worked closely with Professor Ozpin for many years."

"You're related to Ruby and Yang? How are they? Are they...okay?"

"Ruby's okay, but Yang not so much. Still, they're taking this a hell of a lot better than you. I mean jeez kid, how many tissues are you going to go through?"

Jaune was feeling furious at Qrow for trying to make light of Jaune's situation.

"Why did you come here?" asked Jaune.

"I heard your friends came over to cheer you up, and judging by the looks of things, that didn't turn out so well."

"Oh great; are you going to try and do the same thing?"

"No Mister Arc, I'm not here to cheer you up or coddle you like your lovely mother. I'm here to talk to you like a real man, one huntsman to another."

"Then you'd be wasting your time, because I'm not a huntsman."

"Okay then, one huntsman to one former huntsman." Qrow took out a flask and started drinking its contents.

"Are you seriously drinking so early in the morning?"

"Whiskey doesn't know what time it is," remarked Qrow. "Speaking of, I got you a present."

Qrow reached into his pocket and pulled out a second flask. He tossed the flask to Jaune, who can already hear some kind of liquid moving around inside.

"Um...you know I'm not old enough to drink, right?" asked Jaune.

"Correction: You're not old enough to drink legally. There's nothing physically preventing you from enjoying a drink."

"You want me to drink this? Now?" Jaune was getting increasingly uncomfortable with where Qrow was taking this.

"Give it a sip at least."

"Yeah, no thanks," said Jaune, giving the flask back to Qrow. Now Qrow was the one who started to lose his patience.

"I'm not leaving until you take a sip boy, and don't even bother trying to call your mother for help, because I'm not above hitting a lady."

Not wanting to piss off Qrow further, Jaune took the flask and opened the top. Jaune closed his eyes and tried to drink the alcohol as fast as he could, only to spit it out as soon as he got a good taste of the awful bitterness.

"Oh my God, this tastes horrible!" said Jaune. "Why did you make me drink that?"

"To prove a point," said Qrow. "Of course it tastes horrible; it's whiskey. Whiskey is bitter and bad for your health, especially when you form an addiction to it and you can't help but keep drinking it. Any being with even an iota of common sense would know to never drink this garbage."

Qrow then proceeded to drink more from his flask, tilting his head back further and further to get more drops in. Jaune was confused as to what Qrow was doing.

"Mister Qrow, if you know that stuff is bad for you, why are you drinking it so much?"

"Because drinking whiskey is kind of like being a huntsman; an awful idea that only idiots fall for." Qrow put the flask away and leaned back in his chair. "Everybody tells you about all the good you do and everything you have to gain when you become a huntsman. What they should be telling you is everything you can lose. Not to one-up you on the tragedies kid, but I've lost several people in this line of work. Classmates, teammates, friends, family...I stopped counting how many people I've lost around the time I ran out of fingers and toes to keep track of everyone. You wanna see the scars I've accumulated over the years?"

"No thank you," said Jaune, disgusted at the thought of the kind of scars this man would probably have.

"Now you tell me; what sane person would want a job that takes such a toll on their body and mind, doesn't pay well at times, and will likely end in an unceremonious fashion against some enemy that outmatched them?"

"You're not making any sense!" said Jaune. "If you think being a huntsman is so terrible, then why did you become one in the first place, and why do you stay as one even now?"

"A two part question! Okay, part one; why did I become one in the first place?"

Qrow stood up to stretch his limbs, looked down on Jaune, and smiled.

"Because I love it! Despite all the bullshit that comes attached to it, going out there and killing them sons of bitches Grimm gives me a thrill no boring as shit job can, and as it turns out, I'm really damn good in a fight. Plus on top of all that, I'm saving innocent lives on a near-daily basis. It's a terrible vice to be addicted to and I love every God damn second of it."

"Of course you love it," said Jaune. "You're a strong huntsman with years of experience. I'm just some weak, pathetic kid who could barely hold his own in a fight."

"You're right. You are, or were, a pretty pathetic huntsman. How you became the leader instead of Pyrrha baffles me."

"Wait, what?" Jaune was surprised to see Qrow actually agree with him.

"What? You expect me to say 'Oh no Jaune, don't say that! You were a great huntsman and an excellent leader! There was nothing you can do to save Pyrrha!' It's no surprise she was the one to make the great, heroic sacrifice instead of you."

"That's enough!" yelled Jaune, believing that Qrow was mocking him with Pyrrha's death. "Don't you ever talk about her like that!"

"Why? You know it's the truth! You were weak, helpless, and needed Pyrrha to carry that sorry excuse of a team you had!"

Jaune jumped out of bed and tried to hit Qrow. Qrow simply grabbed Jaune by the forehead and pushed him back onto his bed without any effort.

"As for me, hell yes I'm a damn strong huntsman! Over twenty years experience and more Grimm kills than most people in the world!"

After he was done boasting, he sat back in his chair, looked down on the floor, and suddenly turned his smile into a frown.

"And yet I failed to do jack shit to stop that attack from going down in the God damn first place. Kid, there were dozens of huntsmen and soldiers far better than you who stayed to help out, and yet one woman and her group of flunkies made us all look like academy student amateurs. What right do any of us have to call ourselves huntsmen after that embarrassing display?"

Jaune could barely understand what Qrow was doing. At one point he acted like someone who talked down-to-Remnant, then he was acting like a complete asshole, and now he was suddenly sounding forlorn and depressed. Jaune wasn't sure if the man sitting in front of him had some kind of bi-polar disorder, or all that whiskey he washed down was starting to turn him into a drunken mess.

Qrow took out his flask to drink more of his whiskey, only to realize he had suddenly consumed the last drop. He looked down and saw Jaune's flask, remembering it still had to have some left.

"Mind if I have that flask again for a second?" asked Qrow. Jaune handed his flask back to Qrow; Qrow poured the contents from Jaune's flask back to his own, then proceeded to drink it.

"Um...sir?" asked Jaune. "Are...are you okay?"

"I haven't been what you would call 'okay' for twenty years," said Qrow.

"So why? Why do you keep going out there and fighting when you know just how bad things have gotten, and when you've already lost so many people close to you?"

"Now for part two; why do I stay as a huntsman and continue doing what I do?"

Qrow reached into his wallet and pulled out a picture he rarely showed anyone. It was a picture of him, Taiyang, Yang, and Ruby, all posing in front of Signal Academy, taken about two years ago when Ruby first enrolled.

"Because there are still people alive that need me to keep doing what I do. I've got a brother-in-law with two wonderful nieces who need me. I've got a general in Atlas who needs me. I've got a close friend who went missing and needs me to pick up where he left off. Being a huntsman is a stupid decision, so I can either give up now and save myself the trouble, or swallow the pain and keep going with my addiction because I've got too many loved ones to save."

Qrow took one final chug from his flask and put it away. He handed Jaune back his flask and stood up.

"I don't care what you decide kid, because your problems are no skin off my back."

And with that, Qrow left Jaune's room without even saying a goodbye to him or his mother. Jaune sat on his bed and stared at his warped reflection in the flask. Qrow mentioning how he had people to save reminded him of one of the last things he said to Pyrrha that day; how after Penny was killed, Jaune encouraged Pyrrha to keep fighting to make sure no one else suffered the same fate. It seemed like such an easy thing to say before Jaune had suffered a personal death of his own; now it wasn't so easy.

Jaune tried to think logically about what he should do, and all signs pointed to him quitting. How can he possibly save anyone when he couldn't save the woman that loved him? What possible chance did a kid who faked his transcripts, carried around an outdated and archaic weapon, who didn't even know what aura was, and still has no firm grasp of what his semblance is, have in going out there and attempting to save the world?

While trying to come up with a decision, his mother knocked on the door.

"Jaune honey, if you're hungry, I made you breakfast!"

"...mom?"

"What is it dear?"

"Can I borrow the phone? I need to call someone."

"Of course." Mrs. Arc went to retrieve the house phone and handed it to Jaune. Jaune quickly dialed the numbers and hoped that the person he was calling was going to pick up. To his relief, they picked up just after the first ring.

"Hello?" said Ruby.

"Hey Ruby, it's Jaune. We need to talk."

#

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Mrs. Arc, standing in Jaune's room as he was making his final preparations.

"I'm sure mom," said Jaune.

"Did you make sure to pack enough warm clothes? I heard Patch Island has some terrible snowy weather this time of year!"

"Of course mom."

"Did you make sure to pack extra clean underwear? What about a toothbrush? Do you think you might also need TP?"

"I've got everything I need mom! All I need now is my weapon. Do you remember where it is?"

"The same place you took it the first time."

After Jaune packed up everything he needed, he went downstairs and headed to the living room with the fireplace. There on the mantle above the fireplace was Crocea Mors, placed below the pictures of the great Arc huntsmen that came before Jaune. Jaune reached up and grabbed his signature weapon.

"Good to have you back," said Jaune to himself. Once he was equipped and ready to go, his mother turned him around and gave him a great big hug.

"My brave little boy is becoming such a brave young man!" said Mrs. Arc. "Just remember son, if it becomes too much to handle, you can always come home!"

"Thanks mom, but to tell you the truth, I'm either coming back a hero or not at all." Jaune felt a vibration in his pocket. He took out his new scroll and saw he got a text from Ren saying the cab had arrived and was ready to go. "Goodbye mom; I'll try to call you as much as possible!"

"At least give me one more kiss before saying goodbye!"

"Of course mom," said Jaune, kissing his mother on the cheek. "I love you."

Jaune waved goodbye and ran out of the house for what he hoped wouldn't be the last time. He got inside the cab where his two former teammates were waiting.

"So Ruby has told you the plan?" asked Ren.

"She said we needed to go all the way to Haven," said Jaune. "I have no idea how we're going to get there, or what we'll do once we arrive, but if anyone has a plan on how to make things right, it's definitely Ruby!"

"This is going to be awesome!" said Nora. "Four brave heroes must trek across an apocalyptic wasteland in order to bring peace to a world in peril!"

"I'm surprised you're coming with us after what happened two days ago," said Ren. "What happened yesterday to change your mind?"

"I did a lot of reflecting is all," said Jaune. "I could stay safely in my room and cry all day about Pyrrha, or go out and do something. As the former team leader of Team JNPR, I say we go to Haven and keep fighting!" Jaune wanted to keep his meeting with Qrow a secret, not knowing how his team or Ruby would react knowing Qrow was the one to help get them together.

"Seriously Jaune, are you feeling okay?"

"Not really. I've got a pit in my stomach, my nerves are shaking, and I stubbed my toe trying to pack up everything I need."

"To tell you the truth," said Nora, "I'm feeling the same way. I mean, we're in the big leagues now, and we didn't even have to wait until after graduation!"

"This is a seriously big mission, but if you guys are up to it, then so am I!"

"You bet I am!" said Nora.

"Same here," said Ren.

"Then let's get to Patch Island!"

The long cab ride gave the remaining Team JNPR members a lot of time to reflect everything they had gone through, and everything they were about to face. While reflecting, Ren looked over to Jaune and noticed him taking out a flask and drinking.

"What are you drinking, Jaune?" asked Ren.

"Oh, this?" said Jaune, holding up his flask. "Just some water."

"You're carrying water in a flask? Why?"

"Seemed easier to carry than a bottle."

Ren shrugged his shoulders and went back to silently reflecting. Jaune took another sip of his water and looked at the flask, thinking about the decision he ultimately decided to make.

 _The smart thing to do would have been to not come along since I don't have the skills like my friends do._

 _But I'm just too addicted to wanting to be the hero to say otherwise._

 _I'll stand by my teammates and help them any way I can._

 _I won't let any other loved ones suffer an untimely fate._

 _Thank you for setting me straight, you drunken fool._

 _Pyrrha..._

 _Wherever you are..._

 _I hope you're watching over us._

 _I love you._


End file.
